Monday, November 28, 2011

My attitude is gratitude

It's not Thanksgiving anymore, but technically every day should be. I was sitting here thinking about all the things I'm thankful for. There's no way I could list everything but I'll narrow it down. This was partially inspired by a book I recently finished reading called A Thousand Splendid Suns. I won't ruin it for those who haven't read it, but it's a touching tale of the lives of some scattered families and individuals in Afghanistan. Women's rights are basically nonexistent, and everyday luxuries are nothing like what we have here in the glorious land of the free.

I try not to ever take my blessings for granted. I know I'm lucky and blessed in a zillion different ways. Certain things go without saying like my two super sweet kiddos, my parents and sisters, my lovely house and girly girl room that is my haven. And so much more ...

Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich and fries

OK, this is a 2-fer. Blue nail polish and my $4 slippers from Dollar General
that have lasted almost four years and still sparkle

These nerds who rule my heart

My cheesecake making ability

My mom's blossoming rose garden
The Sexy Bitch. Yes, that's what I call my ride. Ain't she hot?! And yes, the temporary tag says GAY Family Auto.

Sarcastic humor

My super hot, sweet, loving, 6'2'' soul mate

Monstrous, chewy chocolate chip cookies

Sexual innuendos on cereal boxes

Scrabble!!!!! :)

Pineapple juice

Sky formations. Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?

My blog!!!

So there you have it. Just a few of the things for which I'm tremendously grateful! Life is something to be celebrated. :-) Thanks for stopping by.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

S.T.A.R. saves mojo

I've seen coughs more productive than I've been in the past couple weeks. Somewhere in the mix of not feeling well and every day life, I seem to have lost my mojo in the sea of despair, which led to blogger's block and a lot of IDGAF'ness. But it's resurfacing so no worries! Mojo abductions happen to everyone, but fear not! I've discovered a cure.

Just be a S.T.A.R performer, as in - Stop Trippin' And Refocus! I believe that if this philosophy is used way more often in the world, a lot of missing mojos can be found easily. Yea so I lost mine ... it's cool, not the end of the world. It often leaves without prior notice but always comes back to momma.

S.T.A.R. means whenever I find myself dwelling on a problem like my this hurts and my that hurts and I don't feel well and this person pissed me off, I don't like what my doctor said, my eyeballs keep popping out, etc., etc., I find something else to focus on immediately! Otherwise, I tend to go into bitch mode mixed with hermit mode and my enthusiasm, a.k.a. mojo, vanishes. 

A long, long time ago when I was an innocent but dirty-minded flower, I didn't know what "mojo" meant, and I assumed it was some slang nasty term like mojo = dildo or something along those lines. Austin Powers did NOT help., btw. But NO. It ain't dirty. Let me enlighten those who are unfamiliar with the term. Your mojo is your zeal, the spark in your every step that makes you be as awesome and creative as you can be! No mojo = blah.

In my feeling sick state of mind, I neglected to initiate S.T.A.R while zoning in on my aches and pains and ended up losing my mojo. I'm a perfect example of what not to do. For instance, my disturbing ER experience proved that HIPPA is a joke! I was upset and didn't refocus. I shoulda watched some comedy. If one thing bothers you, shift to something else! You have a headache? Play a soothing song, and take a pill. Kid throwing a tantrum? Walk away, and turn on a TV. Suffering with pains? Tuck yourself in a cozy bed, surround yourself with nice fluffy pillows, and read a good book, take a nap or play Words With Friends or Scrabble on Facebook! Ease stress with a cup of ice cream. Angry at someone? Forget them, and focus on someone who makes you laugh, even if it's a Youtube video like these - or or

For instance, while in bed sick, I read A Thousand Splendid Suns in 3 days, one of the most moving stories I've ever read. That guy can write, wow. LOVED IT! I watched the entire seventh season of The Office on Netflix in 2 days. I totally missed that season because I was busy falling in love all year while it premiered. It was great, but I'm not sure I can hang on without Steve Carell. Jim and Pam are cool but only in small doses. I watched Elf three times with Nabeel.

Let's see ... Oh, and I cooked our Thanksgiving feast. That felt nice. Cajun style fried turkey (courtesy of HEB), corn on the cob with my special garlic butter glaze, cornbread stuffing, regular salad, potato salad, broccoli cheese rice and a to-die-for cheesecake, which is my specialty.

And tonight, I blogged! Not bad for a sicko, right? So thanks for giving me your undivided attention, and I'll see you again soon! :) It's a cold, snuggly, SNL kinda night.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Friendship begins with a click

I was thinking about some crazy stuff today. Mostly about how different the world is thanks to technology and the inception of social media. If there was no Facebook, what would you do with your Fb time? (read and write) How would you invite people to things? (call or text or better yet, never plan anything and be a hermit ... way easier) Would you remember anyone's birthday, and if you did, would you bother to find a way to tell them HBD? (I normally remember the month but not the day, so I'd be screwed unless they came out of my womb, are in my immediate family or married to me) Would you feel like you had enough real-life friends? (No, but that's normal) How many of the people on your friends list do you truly know and talk to outside of Fb? (At least one)

To me, it's been a wondrous experience, because I try to use it for the greater good. I get so pissed when I hear people (particularly the older generations and the technology haters) say Facebook is evil and bad and full of predators! Umm, newsflash, predators existed before Facebook. I connected with the husband of my dreams on there. And one of the best friends I've ever had, who I cannot imagine my life without, who is an essential part of my day, was a random add just because I liked his name, so ha!

It's also been an ideal forum for networking since I started a business and a fun way of sharing my thoughts and craziness with willing participants. I love you, participants!!! :)

As far as Facebook or any other social media site being bad and evil, let me ask you this. If one person takes a vacuum cleaner and bashes another person over the head with it, is the vacuum cleaner to blame?

Adding a friend

Would you walk up to a total stranger and say "Will you be my friend?" Probably not, but most people do it on Facebook by clicking one button. I have! As I said in regards to my random add who turned out to be a dear friend, among others.

This gives shy people a way to crack that shy shell. It gives people without a social life a way to meet new people, whether for romance or just chillin'. You can play interactive games and join groups that can offer help or support you need or just make you laugh every day. I connected with some people from my high school days who I never even talked to in high school because of the social ranking system that I never seemed to find a place in.

Deleting a friend

Do you have the balls to tell someone to his/her face - "You're not my friend anymore" just because? Most times, no, unless they really piss you off and you just go postal. I was deleted and blocked by someone I see almost every day. That makes for awkward (and hostile) moments. Here's a little factoid for ya. If you block someone on Fb, they do not vanish in real life. And use that option sparingly because in today's world, that's unforgivable with no turning back. From my personal experience, this is something people do out of haste, and the person who was banished didn't really do anything that awful.

 Keeping in touch

The old letter-writing days were special. Handwritten sentiments were like snowflakes. No two were ever the same, and typos couldn't be erashed erased, just scratched out. I have a binder where I keep all the letters and cards I got from family in Trinidad and elsewhere during my childhood. I'm so grateful that I got to experience that, and mine was one of the last generations that got to see that pen-and-paper era. Now, everyone is an instant message or Fb post away. Personalizing means changing your font color or making the text bold or all caps. Color me old fashioned, but I still love and appreciate hand-written sentiments and genuine friendship.

Thanks for reading! And don't forget to share this post on Facebook, Twitter or where ever you hang out.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Earthbound dreams

Earthbound, meaning down-to-Earth. (I hate cliches). Plus, I don't daydream about going to the moon or Mars so my goals are quite Earth-related. And I also don't set goals that seem impossible like meeting dinosaurs or flying like Superman. I believe every person has a list of things they want to do. I won't say "before they die" because duhhhh, that's kind of obvious. I hear people say it all the time. "I made a list of things I want to do before I die." Unless you have a way of doing them after you die, that phrase is somewhat of an oxymoron.

My list isn't as cliche as some; it's very ME, which is what making a things-I-want-to-do list should reflect. I don't have goals on mine like winning the lottery, climbing Mt. Everest, meeting someone famous, discovering I have super powers or owning the fancy ride of my dreams.

Mine is more practical because the point of making it isn't just to be a dreamer. It's to actually strive to accomplish these things some day.

So below is a chart I made to illustrate how deeply I ponder this to-do list thing. Making such a list is a good thing to do, ya know. It's amazing how much a visual can inspire you. If you've never done this, you should try it, not necessarily in a graphic like I did but even on pen and paper. Challenge yourself to come up with a list of things you truly want to do that may seem unattainable right now but are definitely possible.

Not only do I think about what I want to accomplish, I also keep track of how close I am to reaching these personal dreams.

Hope you had a dreamy weekend! Once again, thank you for your eyes, and I wish you a beautiful day tomorrow.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Two feet closer

I have a foot fetish. Not necessarily with other people's but mostly my own. Sometimes with other people's, it just depends. It's been a thing since I was a young'en. The footz always have to be well groomed and beautified. It's all part of my girly girl nature, I suppose. Nail polish is a must, and nail art is the icing on the cake foot.

Today, I had a moment of terror! A moment that every foot fetisher has nightmares about! I got in my car as an ideal foot fashionista and when I got to my destination ... Nooooooo! A whole sliver of nail polish had come off the left king toe.

There was no turning back. I had to be brave and face the public with an imperfect toe. Plus, the bank was only open for the next 25 minutes, so I had to go in. I nearly broke a sweat, and it felt like my toe was screaming at everyone, "Hey everybody! Stare at me! Stare at me! Bwahahahaha!"

If you read this post , then you know that I am the problem chopper! So of course I had a solution ready to roll. I reached into my trusty makeup bag and BAM!!!! I had my bottle of nail polish on call, ready for damage control. I propped up my foot on a bench right outside the bank and filled in the missing splotch, exhaled and rocked on like the warrior I am.

Now, don't assume that I go around hatin' on people's feet. I do, but only in my mind and only if it's horrendous. I'm generally not concerned with feet that are not a part of my daily world. Also, in a previous post about distractions - - I briefly mentioned a guy I used to talk to who had Supercalifragilisticexpialidociously long toenails.

Yes, I did hate on his because he was tryin' to holla, which made him a potential in-my-daily-world candidate and qualified for foot analysis. Playing footsies with him could have been fatal. And all I saw was a future of slashed sheets, open wounds and toenails that didn't believe in ladies first because they were so long they were always several minutes ahead.

Foot care is an essential part of a diabetic's life as well, so I'm not totally crazy for obsessing over it. I can thank family history and an entire childhood of Snickers and Coke for becoming LITERALLY too sweet for my own good. That is the notion that heightens my foot fetishism.

Thanks for visiting! Cheers and happy Saturday, beautiful people!

Share this post on Facebook and/or Twitter by clicking those cute little icons.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

FUQs of life: Part 2

In case you didn't peep Part 1, FUQ refers to frequently unasked questions. Is it because I'm a nosy reporter that I think to ask the unasked? Nah. I just get occasional clogs in the old mental plumbing because of thinking and idea overload and get the urge to purge, which results in my FUQs of life posts (and actually, all posts).

FUQ #6 (I left off at 5 last time, f.y.i.) Do negative occurrences have a purpose?

How many times have you heard that bad things seem to happen more frequently to good people? Judging by how my life progresses most times, I think I mildly suffer from that phenomenon. Here's what I think. If you believe in a Higher Power like I do, then it makes perfect sense that bad things happen as a way to make you recognize and and more deeply appreciate the abundance of good things you have in life.

Yes? No? Well, for me, that's absolutely the case. If something negative occurs, I immediately become overly grateful for everything else in life that is running smoothly, even if it's just that I have working Internet service; got home safely; had no autism vs. Neesha episodes with the Incredible Hulk that is my son; got more 'likes' for my business page on fb (hint, hint); or found some extra fries and/or a stray chicken nugget at the bottom of the bag from Wendy's. Sometimes you have to realize that good things don't always present themselves in a flamboyant or extravagant manner. Not winning the lottery doesn't mean life is shitty. There are other 'wins' to be thankful about.

FUQ #7 Why is Wal-Mart trying to eff with my mind?

I saw this cooler from a distance with this mouthwatering image on it. I started to drool. I dropped everything as the Haagen-Dazs hunger took over my normal senses. I ran toward it in a haze of tunnel vision. I bulldozed an old lady who was in my Haagen-Dazs path, knocked over a kid or two and an entire Little Debbie snack display, jumped 10 feet in the air  out of pure adrenaline and dropped back to the floor landing just a few feet away! I bear crawled the rest of the way, slobbering and panting, finally getting right up to this amazingly decorated frozen box of deliciousness. Then ... to my utter disappointment, it was all for nothing because in this pseudo Haagen-Dazs cooler was nothing more than a tease, loaded with piles of Tombstone pizzas. 

Really, Wal-Mart? Pizzas in a Haagen-Dazs freezer? Do you know what that does to a person's (my) psyche? That's cruel and unusual ... advertisement. I'll never be the same again.

FUQ #8 Does poop ever take human form?


FUQ #9 Do the folks at Chili's To Go section have anger management issues?

That would be a definite YES.

I mean, what if I'm there more than 10 minutes because THEY take too long to give me my soup and salad? Would I still be crushed and melted? What happens after they crush and melt the violators? Do they use the crushed and melted humans in their food? Is this why my bowl of chili tasted funny that one time when I found what appeared to be a bone fragment in it? This one is just loaded with FUQs.

FUQ #10 (This is really a FAQ but FUQ sounds more interesting.) Does money grow on trees?

Yes. Money is paper, and paper comes from trees.

The end (for now).

Hope you enjoyed your stay. Come back and see me again!

Share this post on Facebook and/or Twitter because sharing is scaring. ;-)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The problem chopper

Yep, that's me. I have a Black Belt in problem chopping. If something bugs me, I chop it! Philosophically speaking, that is. Because if I did that in a literal sense, I'd probably be blogging from behind bars. And furthermore, I doubt I could chop my way out of those, AND I doubt my Monopoly get-out-of-jail-free-card really works.

I try not to be a whiner. I prefer to be a warrior! Bring me a problem, and I chop it. OK, this doesn't always work, but I'll still spit you some optimism.

Bedtime is my favorite time of day (except for lunchtime). Sleep is my subtle way of chopping away my stress, which is a problem, of course. I love my happy, snuggly, girly room. It's my happy hermit haven. I wish I could live there 24/7 and just turn from side to side every hour to avoid developing bed sores. (I learned that in nursing school back in '95. I never graduated.)

I'm kind of fruity when it comes to food. I could seriously live off of fruits alone, if it was good for me to go that route. But it's not so I won't. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing, kinda like chocolate ... OK, maybe not, but anyway. My favorite fruits are mangoes and papaya (when it's not smooshy and nasty). I also love seedless red grapes BUT!

There's a problem! I hate grape skin. It's disgusting, and it makes my face hole unhappy. Naturally, I found a way to chop this problem too! I basically circumcise my grapes. What?! They do it to humans all the time, so I doubt it's any worse on grapes.

On the flip side of what I just said about fruit, I can't stand them if they are old and icky like in most parfaits. Now, here's the problem. I heart parfaits but not the squooshy stale fruit in them. And I normally only buy them at McDonald's or Chick-fil-a. Then I pull out all the fruit and just eat the white stuff. SO! I chopped my problem by discovering what you see below. To most people, this looks like vanilla yogurt but to the problem chopper! It's a fruitless parfait. :)

And that is all the problem chopping I got for you today! Many thanks for your brief, undivided attention. 

If you enjoyed this post, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter by clicking on the icons below or up top!

Thank you, and see ya next time!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

P-H Balance 6

I had a busy, busy day working and staying in avoidance of any autism vs. Neesha battles. So tonight, I leave you with #6 of my Player-Hater cartoon series. This time, they are in League City, Texas, in case the scenery looks familiar to any locals.

To those who are new to my madness, the P-H Balance series is dedicated to my pseudo sisters who have displayed their innate ability to go from love to hate in a matter of seconds, and sometimes after ONE disagreement. Vixons, I tell ya!

 Meet you back here tomorrow!

Feel free to click on the Facebook and Twitter icons to share this post. :)
Autism is ruling my evening, so check back here for one hell of a post tomorrow :) Hope you had a lovely weekend.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

FUQs of life

Frequently Unasked Questions, that is. Actually, some of these are FAQs but I like FUQs better. Wordplay happens to be my way of living on the edge, so don't judge me. OK, judge me, but only if it's in my favor. Moving on to the main event ...

FUQ #1 Do bumper stickers say a lot about the vehicle owner?

YES. For instance, this person likes Bowie, is proud to be a Celtic, believes that "Dragons love you," is a fan of tattoos by a place called Chicken Wing (an obvious name for such a venue), listens to 90.1 (whatever that is), supports unions and taught me a super cool quote - "Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music." See? I would never have known all that about this person if not for the bumper stickers.

FUQ #2 Are high-water, loud-print pajama pants in style for men?

My camera tells me YES, but only at Wal-Mart.

FUQ #3 Do skeletons have feelings?

I got the answer to this FUQ thanks to some Halloween decor I happened to gaze upon just when I had my trusty camera. So do they, indeed, have feelings? Apparently so, and in all the right places.

FUQ #4 Does Nature Valley hate me?

No doubt! Because why else would they make a variety box with regular, peanut butter and cinnamon and then have the regular and peanut butter ones available in their own boxes but NOT the cinnamon when THAT one is my favorite. I've never seen a box of cinnamon ones anywhere, so I'm just gonna go ahead and take it personally.

FUQ #5 What will people miss the most about daytime Soaps?

Oh, that's pretty obvious. The perfect hair and makeup is one thing, even when they just wake up or are lost in the wilderness for days or just got in a near-death accident. Watching their kids grow from birth to teenager in a matter of months. The tacky music that emphasizes their exaggerated facial expressions. Hmm, by looking at this TV screen, I just cannot think of anything else ...

Hope you enjoyed my five FUQs of life. As I always say,

If you enjoyed this post, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter by clicking on the 'share' icons up top or right below this post!

Until next time! :)

Friday, November 4, 2011

Distractions are so distracting

I honestly do try to stay on task, but .. but ... life is so distracting! And it does NOT help matters that I have a one-track mind. Like the other day, I went to the mall on my lunch hour simply to march in, get my makeup and run out. How was I supposed to know this guy would be there to completely distract me with his totally laugh-worthy behavior.

So he was in a motorized chair and was rolling around in the ladies' underwear section touching panties. Yea, yea. I know there was probably a dozen explanations for this, but I monitored the situation for a good 5 minutes before I remembered I was supposed to go get makeup. It was the most interesting thing to happen that day so it's safe to say, he made my day!

Once in college, I had this cool guy friend who was pretty hot EXCEPT for his toenails. They were so frickin' long, I swear if he was going somewhere on foot, his toenails would get there like 5 minutes before him.

And whenever he talked to me, I didn't hear a word he said because all I could think about were his toenails because he wore flipflops every day. Probably because he sliced up all his damn shoes with those blades. Eww.

Today I went to lunch with a good buddy of mine, and just as I was about to say something completely epic ... I was distracted by this and totally lost my train of thought.

Seriously? That's the best decor they could find? A chia pig? This creepy porker was all up in my grill, and I kept doing side glances at it. Sadly, I never remembered what my epic verbiage was about, so here I go again, being distracted from my intended path of awesomeness by some unexpected twist.

I was innocently trying to hustle some grocery shopping into my busy schedule on the way home one day, and I had my whole grocery list memorized until ...

this jumped out at me (pun intended) and made me giggle, take pics, text them to friends, and then I forgot half my list. *sigh*

I was vigorously trying to finish writing a story at work, and just as I was about to come up with the most mind-blowing conclusion and knock it out before the deadline, I saw this outside the window.

I never saw a deer pee before, so I was entranced by this dream stream. Remind me never to picnic in that particular spot. And ... this is one of the many, many, reasons why I hate grass. ick! But that's a whole other blog post.

 Now, the ultimate distraction!! (No, not deer pee)
 O    M   G
When I see this, nothing else exists in the world. A co-worker gave me this, not knowing he was going to totally halt production in my cubicle until this piece of heaven was in my face hole. MmmMmmMmmm. And in honor of "get in my belly," which were my sentiments toward this insanely delicious brownie, here is my favorite Fat Bastard clip.

Hmmm. Now what was I doing before writing in this blog? I dunno because I got distracted with writing about distractions.

Thanks for reading, my dearies!

If you liked this post, please click the buttons to share it on facebook and Twitter. Sharing is caring, right? So share on! :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The itty bitty pity comittee

I love to observe people, primarily myself. I have no out-of-body capabilities, (although I wish I did because I've always wondered what I look like from behind while walking) but I do have the ability to see myself outside the box sometimes. I have my I'm-a-warrior-and-I-can-handle-anything days, my mess-with-me-and-I'll-whoop-yo-ass days, my FML days, my IDGAF days, my I'm-giggling-like-I'm-drunk-but-I'm-not days, and my I'm-too-blessed-for-stress days. In dealing with all the every-day emotional tornadoes, people need to connect with other humans (or animals or plants or imaginary friends) to unclog their mental plumbing.

Venting vs. Complaining: To me, one is more about pity, and the other is about offloading. I think there's a huge difference. In all the madness I've been going through lately, I've done my share of both! The reaction you get from people when you do either one tells you a little about how your blabber is perceived.

These are some of my favorite responses from people who have listened to my bitchin' over the years.

"At least you don't have cancer, and you're not homeless."
"Wow, that sucks."
"Just break some shit, and you'll feel better."
"Think about all the people in the world who don't have food or shelter. They have way more reason to be down than you, so cheer up."
"Damn, you need a date. Find you a man. That'll ease some stress."
"I don't know what to tell you."
"When it rains it pours, so hang in there."
"Just pray."
"You seriously need sex. How long have you been single again?"

For your information, thinking about people less fortunate does NOT make me feel better. In fact, it makes me feel worse because now I have to feel shitty about my own problems PLUS theirs, so thanks!

Breaking shit will cost money, hence making me an agent of self-destruction.

And sex doesn't solve problems, OK, unless your problem is being horny and/or needing to get rid of a headache and have shinier hair (yes, that's a scientific fact.) And I'm not single anymore, so ha!

I think venting is a form of stress relief. You don't want any advice or comments, and you're not really looking for sympathy. It's like you're the dump truck and the listener is the landfill. You just want them to nod and say "mmHmm" in between your pauses. Complaining is different because with this you're trying to initiate a pity party and get people to jump on your moving sympathy train.

Here are some random responses I got when I asked several different people what they think is the difference between venting and complaining. And yes, those are their real names.

"Venting is expressing your feelings, and complaining is doing the same but you want empathy from someone." - Beautiful Begins with V

"Venting is just simply getting something off your chest with the expectation that someone will listen and provide a little moral support. Complaining is telling someone about something and expecting that person to do something about it." - Padna

"Venting is finding humor and levity in a situation and sharing that with another person. Complaining is adding cynicism and disdain." - Lady in the Back Corner

"It's pretty much the same." - The Dutchess

"Complaining is like telling the whole world  about lack of customer services at a government office ...  Venting is like when you are pissed off at someone and need to scream it out/cry with someone who is a good friend." - Merrysherry

"Venting is when you get things off of your mind like cleansing ... Complaining is more like tattle tailing." -  Barbie Dhal

"Well first off, it doesn't have to be a person you complain to, it could be an object. For example, your car shuts down, and you're complaining to the car, 'why are you not moving; I bought you just three months ago, and you're already giving trouble. Why are you so useless!! On the other hand, venting doesn't necessarily have to have a reason nor words to express how you feel about something. For example, you come out of your car, and you forgot the keys in there and start kicking and hitting the car and remembering bad things in the day that led up to that moment, therefore, venting on the car." - Beast

"Complaints pertain to a certain situation. Venting can also be about anything and are a personal matter. Save up enough complaints and it can lead to having to vent." - Mike Lowery 

If you enjoyed this post, please share it on Twitter and/or Facebook by clicking the little icons to either site.  CHEERS!