Friday, November 4, 2011

Distractions are so distracting

I honestly do try to stay on task, but .. but ... life is so distracting! And it does NOT help matters that I have a one-track mind. Like the other day, I went to the mall on my lunch hour simply to march in, get my makeup and run out. How was I supposed to know this guy would be there to completely distract me with his totally laugh-worthy behavior.

So he was in a motorized chair and was rolling around in the ladies' underwear section touching panties. Yea, yea. I know there was probably a dozen explanations for this, but I monitored the situation for a good 5 minutes before I remembered I was supposed to go get makeup. It was the most interesting thing to happen that day so it's safe to say, he made my day!

Once in college, I had this cool guy friend who was pretty hot EXCEPT for his toenails. They were so frickin' long, I swear if he was going somewhere on foot, his toenails would get there like 5 minutes before him.

And whenever he talked to me, I didn't hear a word he said because all I could think about were his toenails because he wore flipflops every day. Probably because he sliced up all his damn shoes with those blades. Eww.

Today I went to lunch with a good buddy of mine, and just as I was about to say something completely epic ... I was distracted by this and totally lost my train of thought.

Seriously? That's the best decor they could find? A chia pig? This creepy porker was all up in my grill, and I kept doing side glances at it. Sadly, I never remembered what my epic verbiage was about, so here I go again, being distracted from my intended path of awesomeness by some unexpected twist.

I was innocently trying to hustle some grocery shopping into my busy schedule on the way home one day, and I had my whole grocery list memorized until ...

this jumped out at me (pun intended) and made me giggle, take pics, text them to friends, and then I forgot half my list. *sigh*

I was vigorously trying to finish writing a story at work, and just as I was about to come up with the most mind-blowing conclusion and knock it out before the deadline, I saw this outside the window.

I never saw a deer pee before, so I was entranced by this dream stream. Remind me never to picnic in that particular spot. And ... this is one of the many, many, reasons why I hate grass. ick! But that's a whole other blog post.

 Now, the ultimate distraction!! (No, not deer pee)
 O    M   G
When I see this, nothing else exists in the world. A co-worker gave me this, not knowing he was going to totally halt production in my cubicle until this piece of heaven was in my face hole. MmmMmmMmmm. And in honor of "get in my belly," which were my sentiments toward this insanely delicious brownie, here is my favorite Fat Bastard clip.

Hmmm. Now what was I doing before writing in this blog? I dunno because I got distracted with writing about distractions.

Thanks for reading, my dearies!

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