Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The problem chopper

Yep, that's me. I have a Black Belt in problem chopping. If something bugs me, I chop it! Philosophically speaking, that is. Because if I did that in a literal sense, I'd probably be blogging from behind bars. And furthermore, I doubt I could chop my way out of those, AND I doubt my Monopoly get-out-of-jail-free-card really works.

I try not to be a whiner. I prefer to be a warrior! Bring me a problem, and I chop it. OK, this doesn't always work, but I'll still spit you some optimism.

Bedtime is my favorite time of day (except for lunchtime). Sleep is my subtle way of chopping away my stress, which is a problem, of course. I love my happy, snuggly, girly room. It's my happy hermit haven. I wish I could live there 24/7 and just turn from side to side every hour to avoid developing bed sores. (I learned that in nursing school back in '95. I never graduated.)

I'm kind of fruity when it comes to food. I could seriously live off of fruits alone, if it was good for me to go that route. But it's not so I won't. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing, kinda like chocolate ... OK, maybe not, but anyway. My favorite fruits are mangoes and papaya (when it's not smooshy and nasty). I also love seedless red grapes BUT!

There's a problem! I hate grape skin. It's disgusting, and it makes my face hole unhappy. Naturally, I found a way to chop this problem too! I basically circumcise my grapes. What?! They do it to humans all the time, so I doubt it's any worse on grapes.

On the flip side of what I just said about fruit, I can't stand them if they are old and icky like in most parfaits. Now, here's the problem. I heart parfaits but not the squooshy stale fruit in them. And I normally only buy them at McDonald's or Chick-fil-a. Then I pull out all the fruit and just eat the white stuff. SO! I chopped my problem by discovering what you see below. To most people, this looks like vanilla yogurt but to the problem chopper! It's a fruitless parfait. :)

And that is all the problem chopping I got for you today! Many thanks for your brief, undivided attention. 

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Thank you, and see ya next time!


  1. Chop away fearless warrior. You are definitely part of the WWW club. Wise Woman Warriors. Let create a shield for this!

  2. Thank you, Joanie! You know how it is. :) A shield! That is such a good idea!!!!