Thursday, December 8, 2011

Be nice or be gone

I was a bullied kid. So I always feel sorrow when I see news reports about modern day bullying in school. All I can say to these kiddos is GET TOUGH and find solace in something, because bullying never really ends. There are plenty of jerks in adult life too. As a kid, my solace was always in writing stories and reading tons of books in my lavender-colored room (with light pink paint around the doors and window).

I dreaded school every day from about second grade until I finished senior year as a waddling teen pregnancy statistic. Bullies took money from me. I had sentimental jewelry stolen. On the bus, this one chick used to frog punch me on the arm until I guessed the magic word. No ... I never got the magic word correct. I remember wearing my coats in 70-90 degree weather (claiming to my mom the classroom was cold) just to have some padding against the punches. I got spit on. My looks got made fun of as well as my clothes. I got wads of gum tossed into my waist-length hair that resulted in me having shoulder length hair the next day. I was utterly distraught. Peanut butter didn't work , nor anything else, to get the gum out. I got racial remarks and because my last name is Hosein, I was heckled with all kinds of Saddam references. Some jocks played keep-away with my backpack and called me terrorist. Morons didn't care that I was of tropical origins; all they saw was a name and a skin tone.

But enough about childhood bullying. I'm here to discuss another type of bullying that I go through every day. It's not even human bullying. It's another realm of ostracism altogether.

Every time I walk into my closet, I'm ostracized.

I say EFF YOU, stupid purple skinny dress! Who needs you anyway. I only keep you because you're purple! (That's a lie; I cling to the hope of being skinny like a buzzard to roadkill.) There are other clothes in my closet way nicer than YOU! ..................... Wrong.

Forget you too, mean skinny black pants! I'll just go buy some new clothes that fit and leave you to rot in the back of my closet forever!!!!  I have a great job and career. So maybe I'll go shopping after I pay this stack of bills.


I try so hard to focus on my work every chance I get. But as I sit on my bed, staring at the laptop screen, another screen taunts me ...


I have a novella to finish! Must. Stay. Focused. No distractions allowed. Suddenly ... visions of chocolate cupcakes dance in my head as the snack attack bully closes in on me.

Even responsibility becomes a bully and won't leave me in peace.


Then I think of all the things on my wish list that would thrill me out of dismay like a nicer smart phone, better cookware, the Kindle Fire (even though I'll never give up real books), new clothes and shoes, a treadmill to help lower my weight and cholesterol, a Wii for me and a Playstation 3 for the kids ... and so much more.

Then comes the biggest bully of all.

Like I said, kids. Get used to bullying. It's a part of life. I just learned to cope. I play Scrabble and Words With Friends on Facebook, converse with the love of my life, eat apples and oranges and Twinkies, shower my spawn with love and cynicism, read books, write books, procrastinate ... and life is always as good as I make it.

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