Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Not all things that make cents make sense

I saw this at Walgreens today. I actually noticed it because another lady was giggling at it and taking a phone pic. So monkey see, monkey do. It's what ended my day with the outside world before getting home and morphing into the hermit mom blogger writer creature that is my true self. I've been losing my mojo a lot lately. It has a lot to do with being sick for five weeks, but things like this pretty much rescue me from writer's block because how can anyone look at such a thing and not have something to say?

I wanted to buy it so bad but I've been fiercely fighting my frequent urges to buy shit I do NOT need. I love this kind of stuff, though! I'm a fan of abnormal things. Why wouldn't you want to buy something that says boobies on it. And it has nothing to do with actual tits. A brilliant sales gimmick! And then I saw the land of my birth written on one of the bands (Trinidad) and realized it was some kind of Caribbean-themed bracelet thingy.

Then a friend (Thanks, Jeff!!) tactfully pointed out that this was indeed a breast cancer awareness campaign! If I had realized that at the time, I would have bought it. This is the campaign - http://www.keep-a-breast.org/programs/i-love-boobies/ in case you want to know more.

My bad! It's getting difficult to distinguish noble from raunchy causes when your brain is tainted with things like The Tiddy Bear, for example.

It has nothing to do with tiddies in a literal sense. Here, peep the infomercial vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw1g2yKxb0I

Hmm ... So I was inspired to come up with my own raunchy product, call it something like "nipples," and put it on the market! If Tiddy Bear can do it, so can I! OK ... here goes.

Product prototype:

You would totally buy this, right!?
Even before I had the boobies encounter, on my way to work this morning, I had another odd sighting. I was innocently driving with both hands on the wheel and seat dancing to some Gap Band - yup, kickin' it ol' skool at 8 in the mornin'! Ironically to their song "Early in the Morning." If you don't know it, whet your ears with this link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KKD2TCzN04

Here was my early morning delight.

Come on, who doesn't love a man with big udders. I must say, I admire anyone who can do this because the amount of snickering one has to tolerate to do such a job, I'm not worthy! To honor his bravery, I Blackberry-cammed him, gave him a thumbs up, smiled and waved. But here again, I couldn't make the connection between udders and a $99 Move-in special the same way boobies didn't connect to bracelets in my brain at first.

Oh well, not all things that make cents make sense. They're just meant to be enjoyed. Kind of like disco music, toe socks and raising the roof.

Until we meet again ...

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