Saturday, January 21, 2012

Autism vs. Neesha: iScream

I can't afford an iPad, but I do have an iScream, a.k.a. Nabeel. Thanks to autism, I've become really good at yawning. I can even do several different kinds. I can yawn silently, where it looks like I'm screaming with no sound. I can yawn with my eyes wide open, making me look like I'm horrified. I can do the one with the sigh all the way through. Sometimes I use the one with the mini-scream right in the middle part. Oh, and the one with the "Kkhhhhhh" sound towards the end, I can do that too.

I doze off at work all the time lately, and people probably assume I'm a party animal. Well, I sure am. Oreos party in my mouth all the time, especially when I'm stressed to the max. I pretend each Oreo is someone I don't like, and I crush them mercilessly between my choppers. That makes me feel better, unless the Oreo is inside-out like this one. I mean, seriously? Even my Oreos are screwing with me? I give up.

Nabeel's scream-a-thons have now claimed my nights as well as my sanity. The other day, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. thinking there was an earthquake in Houston, Texas, because the walls were rattling. But it was just him in his room, screaming his lungs out, projectile spitting, slapping himself and banging on the walls. I have yet to meet anyone who knows what this is like.

My heart goes out to my baby. I know it's awful playing my role in all this, but I cannot imagine what he must be going through. He didn't ask to be this way. I always tell myself that. I was chosen to be his mom, an honor I cherish. Many people ask me how I cope with all of this. First of all, prayer! I'd be nowhere without my wireless connection to the Big Boss. I have the best hubby in the world (who's abroad, but always there for me), and my super cool, loving circle of friends who are always on text support (once they're awake). It's not easy at times, but I try lots of different methods of stress relief ...

MUSIC! Can't do without it. It calms the soul. I'm a fan of oldies from all genres. And just so you know, you cannot be in a bad mood while disco music is playing, you just can't. I keep it alive, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. I like classical sometimes too. It soothes the savage me.

Must have Netflix account! I did without it for a long while, but broke down and got it back. It's like the friend who doesn't sleep and who answers my plea for comfort 24/7 (as long as I pay my internet bill, that is). This is the very spot where I became addicted to Law & Order: SVU & CI, The Office and 30 Rock.

Yes, food is a given, particularly chocolate food.

And another one should be a given, as well ... Yup. You're looking at it right now. My blog. It's for my sanity, my business promotions, my sense of humor and for sharing every day madness.

This directly relates to my one major source of relaxation -- writing. I couldn't survive without my laptop or, at least, pen and paper. I have to jot all the time. It's essential, just like daily vitamins and minerals.

I'll let you ponder all that, while I dash off to do laundry. Happy Saturday to all!


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