Monday, July 2, 2012

12 things I've learned about marriage in year one

Have I really been married for a year? No one is more surprsed than ME. The love hater finally found her match. If someone had told me a little more than a year and a half ago that I'd be happily married soon, I would have tumbled to the ground in hysterial laughter. Seriously. I could and should write a book about some of the characters I have come across in my dating life. It's totally book-worthy.

Like that one guy I was seeing for about 6 months back in 2004. We'll call him Dirty30. Everything was cool. I was about to let my guard down and start truly embracing my slowly-developing feelings for him when one day I called him and ... no answer. Called again later, no answer. Next day no answer. Next day, straight to voice mail. And voice mail thereafter. I was pissed, hurt, confused ... all kinds of feelings, but pissed was the dominant emoticon. After about a week, I got worried. I knew his brother and went to visit him at his job to ask if Dirty30 was alive. The bro informed me that he had gone away to Pakistan the week before to marry his first cousin in an arranged marriage that was agreed upon since birth! (Funny he neglected to mention that to me during our courtship.) The bro also told me that said cousin-bride-to-be had been molded her entire life for servitude to Dirty30. Double yuck. After he came back nice and wed, he contacted me with apologies and pleadings about how he didn't know how to tell me the truth. So, he didn't. Isn't that wonderful? Yea, well, I have a few stories that are just as good.

I gave up and decided to be a diva and rule my empire (which is what I call my life) all by my awesome self. Those who know me know that I was married many moons ago, a fast decision I made in my delirious teenage pregnancy state of mind that turned out disastrous. Oh, well. Live and learn. I got two amazing sons out of it, and I would change one single thing about my past. Regrets are for the weak.

Now, here I am. Life-locked with a 6-foot-2 hottie that treats me like a princess and makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world. It's an extraordinary feeling when you finally see what everything you've ever been through in life comes down to. Phrases like "Good things come to those who wait" suddenly make perfect sense. And true goodness wipes out emotional blemishes and rights all the wrongs. Nothing is perfect, and marriage is truly a work in progress but a worthy endeavor with the right person. He does housework. He comforts me not only when I'm down but when I'm jolly too. He makes sure I'm always smiling and listens to my babble. The only "b" word he calls me is babe, and he loves my cooking. I call that a win/win scenario.

Today's post is humorously dedicated to Mr. Right and 12 things I've learned in my one glorious year of happy matrimony.

1. The past is the past for a reason. Embrace what's new and beautiful and keep moving ahead.

2. It's OK to be seen without makeup at least by this one person.

3. Cooking is way more fun when you have not two - but three manly mouths to feed.

4. My neighbor's name is Glen and not guy-who-mows-my-lawn.

5. Game of Thrones is really GOOD! (Thanks for making me watch the pilot, honey!)

6. I push people in my sleep.

7. Losing half my closet space taught me that I have too many clothes, 70% of which I don't wear.

8. Wal-Mart is a blessing. (Sorry, Target. I still love you, though.)

9. Two incomes are better than one.

10. I'm not always right. (Dammit!)

11. There are a ton of good movies I haven't seen! (He's a movie fanatic.)

12. Sharing really is caring. :)

Thanks for reading! See you next time.


  1. It's so wonderful that Ms. Novellarella finally got her happily ever after!

  2. Thank you, and yes, it sure is wonderful. :)